Monday, November 15, 2010

CH 8: Breaking the Cycle of Abuse

I want to start off talking about this chapter by saying that I know this is going to be a difficult chapter for a few of you.  As I've read over this chapter several times and prayed about what to type, I've been praying for you.  My prayer is that God would help you see His truth and bring His healing touch to your heart and life.


Remember you are not alone in this battle!

The statistics on page 71 made me so sad.  Let it also serve as a reminder that there are many hurting young women out there.  Even if you've never been affected by abuse personally, take some time to read this chapter. You never know who God may bring across your path that may be hurting and need encouragement.

It's important to note that abuse comes in many forms ~ physical, verbal and sexual .... and that it can come from a variety of relationships ~ strangers, boyfriends, employers, coworkers, friends and family.  The stories that are related in this chapter are all slightly different, but I think it's important to note that each of these girls spiraled down in their self-esteem and behavior.


Seven Things You Need To Know About Abuse
(pg 74-76)
 
* Tell Someone .... and if the person you tell doesn't believe you, tell someone else.  This is a huge first step in starting the healing process.

* Don't tolerate someone's abuse ~ verbal, physical or sexual.  This goes back to the FACT (a.k.a. TRUTH OF GOD'S WORD) that God created you.

* Don't believe that you did something to deserve the abuse.  No one deserves to be abused.  

* It's not okay to be angry at everyone or try to punish others for what happened.

* Rape and promiscuity are different things.  Rape or sexual abuse are not something you willing did.  Promiscuity is when you choose to engage in sexual behavior.

* Set a goal to forgive your abuser. Trust me, I know this isn't easy.  When you are hanging on to anger, hurt & resentment toward someone, that turns to bitterness ~ which eats you up inside.  That bitterness isn't hurting the other person, it's hurting you and your ability to move on and allow God's healing hand to come.  Forgiveness isn't about the abuser apologizing ~ it's about you making a choice to forgive.  This is beyond our human ability and only through God ~ giving all that hurt and anger to Him.

*  While you may never forget what happened, God can show you how to move beyond it.  There may come a time in the future where you can share your story and give someone else who is hurting hope and encouragement. 

I love the way the chapter ends .... God has great things in store for you as you seek to discover the true purpose for which you were created ~ a divine purpose, indeed!

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
 plans to give you a hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11