CH 14: Mastering the Media

Know how they cook lobsters?   Same way as the frog at the beginning of this chapter .... slowly.  The water is heated slowly and the frog doesn't even realize until it is too late that it's over. 

We, as a culture, have become the same way.  It's called becoming desensitized.  Sense has to do with our five senses .... so when we are "de" sensitized, it means we become unable to feel danger.  Our danger isn't boiling water, but the media.  Can you imagine your great-grandmother's shock if she'd see what's on TV or on the radio today?  Go back further than that ~ say 200 years ago.  How far has this world come in what's "socially acceptable" and no big deal.  Pages 124 - 128 in the book talk more about TV, magazine and music media today.

Don't think any of this could affect you .... read the 3 stories starting on page 129 again.  Bet these three young women didn't set out to sin.

SO WHAT CAN YOU DO ABOUT IT?

* think about the types of media you enjoy ... make a list of the magazines, books, movies, tv shows, favorite music, web sites, etc.

*ask yourself:
~ would I be embarrased if my Christian friends, pastor ...or Ms. Becky ... knew I was listening to or watching this?  Do I have to keep it a secret?

~ Does this glamorize things that go against what God says?

~ Do these things leave me feeling depressed or looking for unhealthy relationships?

* Pray about it!  Ask:
~ what would Jesus do?
~ what would Jesus spend His time watching?
~ what would Jesus listen to?
~ what would Jesus spend time reading?


Remember, if you fill your mind with mages of sexually compromising comments and situations, you will become desensitized to similar scenarios in your own life.  If you guard your mind from these messages, you'll also be guarding your heart and life as well.

Castings Crowns has a song called Slow Fade .... here's the lyrics to give some thought to!

"Slow Fade"

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade

Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day

The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day

Oh be careful little eyes what see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see

SO ~ will YOU take the 30 day challenge?  Are you ready to re-sensitize yourself to the inappropriate things of this world?  Want to get some of that garbage out?

How about spending the next 30 days enjoying only media and entertainment that doesn't go against what God says. 

If you're up for this challenge, let me know so I can be praying for you! 

CH 13: A Healthy Starvation Diet

This chapter was exciting to me ~ know why? 
Because it shows that no matter where you've been or what you've been doing or what you've been looking at ~ there is HOPE.  The HOPE is JESUS!  Is it going to be easy? No.  But do you have to do it alone? No.  God is there to help you .... and so am I!  Find an accountability partner to help keep you on track.  We are supposed to be helping each other as fellow believers.

As Christians, we all have battling forces inside us .... God's Holy Spirit and our flesh.  There shouldn't be any doubt which is stronger.  However, it's a battle because it takes us letting God have control.  Which side are we feeding?  Are we feeding our flesh with wrong thoughts and inappropriate viewing habits?  Or are we feeding our relationship with God and allowing His Holy Spirit to have more and more of our lives? 

Ever heard the term GARBAGE IN GARBAGE OUT?  Remember when you are putting the garbage of this world into your mind, that is what is going to come out {rememeber the actor rehearsing??}.  This becomes a vicious cycle because you have to keep feeding the garbage in .... see our human nature wants more and more. 

So ~ this is where the "Starvation Diet" comes in.  It takes you making a choice to not watch those things any longer or not entertain those inappropriate thoughts further.  You have to make conscious changes to your life to move away from the GARBAGE of this world. The more you move away from these things, the more they lose their power over you.

CH 12: Winning the Mental Battle

"How would you feel if every guy you encountered had the ability to read your mind,

just by being in your presence?" 

As Christians, we can take this a step further by remembering that God knows all our thoughts! What's in your heart and mind that God already knows about .... even if no one else does?



"Test me, O Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind"

Psalm 26:2

It's important to remember that EVERYONE ~ regardless of our past ~ is in this battle.  We are ALL sinners, saved by God' grace.  Life brings temptation ~ it's part of being human. 

SO ~ does that mean we say OH WELL since everyone has these thoughts it's no big deal .... or

                      OH WELL what's the big deal if I think about that?

To answer that, the book gives us three questions to consider about our thought life:

* What effect do our thoughts have on our battle for integrity?

Thinking equals rehearsing .... I like the example the book gives about this as an actor rehearsing for a play.  When you entertain thoughts that are not appropriate, it is like rehearsing what you would do or say in a situation.

* How can we guard our mind against things that cause us to sin?

Remember in an earlier chapter where we talked about how a young man guarding his integrity will bounce his eyes .... he can't always help catching something in his line of vision that is inappropriate ~ but he has a choice to make ~~ will he continue to look or look again OR will he look away. 

We have that same choice to make with our minds.  Tempting thoughts can fly into our heads as fast as something can pop in front of our eyes that's inappropriate.  So ~ we have a choice to make with that thought.  Do we entertain that thought and let it continue OR do we bounce it out of our brain and fill that spot with something appropriate?  This takes practice .... the same as it does with our eyes. 

* What does the Bible say we should fill our mind with and IS THAT REALLY POSSIBLE??

Yes it is possible ~ Matthew 22:37 - 38 says "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your MIND."  This is the first and greatest commandment. 

Phillipians 4:8 says Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable ~ if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things. 

Our focus should be on God, He wants to help us!

CH 11: To Flirt Or Not To Flirt

Here is the definition I found online:

flirt: playful behavior intended to arouse sexual interest;  It can consist of conversation, body language, or brief physical contact.

Think about that Krispie Kreme again .... now if that is dangling out there in front of us, we will first look at it ~ and then [for those of us who like Krispie Kremes] we will react by reaching out to touch it. 

So ~ if we are going to carry that principle over to us, our bodies and guys, what does that look like?  First [being visual], they are going to look at what we have dangling out there for all to see .... and then they may react by reaching out and touching. 

NOW ~ if you're the one dangling things out there, that may not be the reaction you wanted.  Perhaps you just wanted them to look ~ or perhaps you even wanted them to wish they could touch .... but CERTAINLY NOT to actually touch you.  What you have to understand is that isn't how God created them.  The three young ladies on page 97 & 98 found this out the hard way.  

A lot of flirting starts with our tongue.  The Bible talks a lot about this very small part of our body.  It compares our tongue to a rudder on a ship {you know, the part that steers the WHOLE boat}.  Read James 3:3-6  ~ the tongue is able to corrupt the whole person.

Remember back in Chapter 3 we talked about building lives of sexual integrity and living a life of balance.  Integrity = what you are when no one else is looking.  The table legs of our lives were mental, physical, emotional and spiritual. [pg. 26]   Are your thoughts right?  Are you dressing modestly and acting like a young women of integrity ~ not flirting or leading a young man on?  Is your focus on God and what His Word says?

She who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious

will have the King for her friend.  Proverbs 22:11

Take some time and read the filter questions on page 101 - 102!  These could be very helpful for you to determine if what you are saying / doing could be inappropriately flirting. 

Don't miss God's promises to you at the top of page 103. God created you and loves you so much ~ He will meet all your needs!

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of

my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord,

my Rock and my Redeemer.

Psalm 19:14

CH 10: Dressing To Impress

"Whether you intend to or not, the way you dress ~ modestly covering the most visually stimulating parts of your body or immodestly revealing as much of your body as you can get away with ~ sends others a message."  pg. 89

LADIES .... what message are you sending?

Let's reflect back to Myth #1 in Chapter 4: How I dress is my business.  It shouldn't be a concern for God or guys. 

Luke 17:1-2 had some pretty strong words to say about that ....

Jesus said to His disciples: "Things that cause people to sin are bound to come,

 but woe to that person through whom they come.  It would be better for {her}

to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around {her} neck

than for {her} to cause {another} to sin."

Okay ~ so does the Bible have a list somewhere that says you SHOULD wear X X and X and you DEFINATELY SHOULDN'T wear Y Y and Y??  no.

Okay ~ so how do we know what's okay and what's not?? 

How about Matthew 22:39 .... "Love your neighbor as yourself."

Yeah ..... I can hear you all saying

Hmmmm .... Ms. Becky I'm not seeing anything in

 that verse that addresses the X or Y in my closet. 

Take a minute and read back over the scenario at the bottom of page 92 and top of 93.  Now we can all read that and clearly see that the girl dangling those Krispy Kremes out in front of her friend who is trying to lose weight is being completely selfish.

{this is not an attack on Krispy Kremes .... you can dangle one in front of me anytime!} 

Okay.   But now let's apply that principle or standard to the young men around us.  We know they are stimulated by what they see.   So ~ is it being loving or selfish to them when we dangle body parts and as much skin as possible out in front of them? 

As you get dressed each day, look at yourself honestly ~ ask God to give you wisdom.  Try to honestly evaluate if what you are wearing is going to cause someone to stumble.  {I want to insert a little side note here .... standing stick straight and looking in the mirror is one thing ~ but let's say you are going to Youth .... are you going to stand stick straight the whole time you are there??  Probably not.   You are going to be bending, running around, sitting on the floor, etc ~ so you have to honestly evaluate what you are wearing also based on what you are going to do.  Bend over in front of the mirror .... reach above your head ~ try to mimic what you are going to be doing and see if your movement causes things to hang out that shouldn't.}

The lists on pages 94, 95 and 96 are an excellent place to start evaluating those X's and Y's in your closet.  Still not sure?  Ask your Mom & Dad [remember Dad's were young men once too] ~ ask a Godly friend or older woman.  Above all PRAY!  Remember how much God cares about you?? He also cares about your wardrobe.  This isn't about going out and buying a new wardrobe ~ PRAY for creativity to mix and match what you have .... maybe you can layer two shirts ... or maybe you can put a few stitches in that slit.  You do your part to try and honor God with your dress and I have NO doubt that He will provide what you need.  A few years ago when God started showing me things about the way I was dressing, I started praying ~ He more than provided.

CH 9: Pursuing Power

A visit to the grocery store checkout isle is all that's needed to read some of the same headlines mentioned at the beginning of this chapter.  You can't miss them ~ these magazines claim to have all the answers for how to be your best and get the guy you want.  But do they really?  Their answers seem to be all about ME ME ME .... is that God's way?  I hope you can answer a resounding NO from what you've been reading in our Battle book.

As I read back over this chapter this morning, I couldn't help but reflect back to Youth last evening and what we have been talking about in Genesis 3.  This chapter is called Pursuing Power ~ isn't that exactly what Eve was pursuing in the garden talking to the serpeant??   God had been providing for ALL her needs through Adam .... but she saw a way to have more power ~ and have it on her own!

Reflect back with me a moment to Chapter 2 ~ specifically the chart on page 21.  Remember this chapter talked about how males & females were created differently {yes, more than just physically}.  We were created by God that way.  We've touched on this a bit on Wednesday nights as well ~ the serpeant VERY clearly understood the differences between Adam & Eve .... which is exactly why he got Eve's attention.  He knew how to draw her in emotionally.  He also knew she had some "power" over Adam.  According to this chart, guys are stimulated by what they see ... yeah I know we've covered that.  But let's tie that in to this chapter.  How does this give US as females power??  It gives us power to use our bodies to get what we want or need {or perhaps more accurately what we THINK we want or need}.

Unfortunately, this is another area that the world around us has twisted up pretty badly.   The media, including TV, books, movies, music / music videos, portrays "powerful" women ~ getting whatever they want, walking over men, able to do and handle any situation a man can, having sexual relationships with whoever whenever it suits them and tossing them aside.  How does that weigh in against God's truth?

Why do women feel the need to have power over a man?  Again .... go back to the Garden with Adam & Eve.  Eve wasn't content to have Adam to supply & meet her needs.  She wanted more.  The first and second paragraph on page 85 express this well.   So many of the girls / women I see trying to use this "power" to get a guys attention are really just trying to feel loved .....  trying to get this love from the world is an empty pursuit, as many of the stories in this chapter relay.  Our first love has to be God.  He is the only one who can completely satisfy our need for love.  When we are seeking Him first, the balance in our other relationships can be restored.

If you find yourself using this "power" in a wrong or inappropriate way, take some time to consider why.  Are you trying to feel loved or improve your self-worth?  God loves you so much He sent His Son to die for you.  That's some pretty powerful love .... more powerful than any man on this earth is capable of giving.

Another thing to consider is what type of man are you attracting with your "power" .... someone who loves God with his whole heart?   Consider the quote from Neil on page 87.  It's true ~ even of some of the young men within our own Youth Group!